I
time does not concern itself with
expectations anymore...the days are happy losing themselves in one
another...status quo is finally adjusting to the prolonged moment of crisis...resignation
is metamorphing into resolve (until cinderella time)...dreams are blaspheming
against reality...hope is back in fashion (with the world)...silence continues
to be overrated...the myth of love stays enchanting...weather still makes for
conversation (and how)...smiles on so many of these faces seem cheesy... the
picture is moving out from the frames and settling elsewhere...make believe
happens all the time...a room of one's own remains worth it (whatever it
takes)...age shows itself in the cracks of the heels...(grey hair doesn’t count
anymore)...health insurance is definitely a good idea...too much comfort is
not...settling down has got to do with state of mind...rather than marital
status...winter smoke is recommended...summer...ummm...maybe sunscreen...taking
the easy way out was never easier...15 seconds are still tempting...apparently
140 characters is all it takes...less may be more, but its still about
"more"...deadpan is acceptable...nay advisable...veil the void by
choking up spaces...for empty spaces will find mirrors...and reflection is an
absolute no-no! meaning is constantly being dissected...but not
deciphered...the choice to not make a choice is still a choice...television is
enlightening (self discovery within and outside of the labels is possible… much
practiced…nevertheless Faustian)...the self is shifting...
II
the koyal’s at it all day long…drowning
noises never quite do…there is still comfort in the written word…the spoken
remains suspect…golden silence has considerably gone down in market value…it is
imprisonment, either way…uplifting, the thoughts of men (and women)…your apathy
is much unwelcome, but accepted nevertheless…flossing never quite caught on in
this part of the world…the in betweens never tried the datun either…didn’t think they missed anything… loss of the real
needn’t be couched in theoretical terms…look away…staring at the phone won’t
make it ring…shutting your ears won’t make it stop…never act despite yourself…don’t
be too hard on yourself, if you do…freedom will remain elusive…love,
illusive…reading the constitutive document of your country is a good idea…whether
it enchants you, or not…must one believe in something? (after the post
modernists’ tryst with metanarratives, is it even possible?)…empty words flash
on a screen...erased once the favor is returned…its alright to be a bit slow on
the uptake…keeping pace is good, if only with yourself…or perhaps, most importantly, with yourself…agony aunts need no
qualifications…the reward principle might need reworking…appealing to reason is
passé…appealing to emotion, more so…do you find what you look for in the
mirror? Its easy, when you define yourself according to another’s dictionary…then
all you are looking for in the mirror is acne…once again, the self is
shifting…this time…into the mirror…
III
never underestimate the power of a hug…or a
kind word…timing is everything…there will always be one blanks too many, that
will never get filled…the disconnect will grow out of seemingly inconsequential
things…drink plenty of water, irrespective of season…appreciate its
availability (think of some famished African country with no drinkable water,
if you want to go by popular western imagination)…marvel at the ingenuity of
the neighborhood slum kids…or your mother’s, when she churns out delightful
supper despite being out of groceries…keep talking, even if it is to
yourself…you will save yourself the shock of helpless muteness when the world
reaches out to you…sometimes it does…know however that reaching out is not a
sign of concern…practice choice…start with choosing what you want to eat from
the menu…don’t be afraid of getting it wrong…slowly move on to informed choices…try
all ways of preparing eggs, and decide which one you like the most…its alright
to stick by preferred choices, but every once in a while, explore…traveling is
not about the daily commute to the work place…get acquainted with your own
history…you will always be under-read, don’t let that bother you… don’t be
apologetic about sentimentalizing…your past will never get unhinged, learn to
live with it…its alright if you can’t sing, or dance, or play
something…eventually the mosquito repellant becomes ineffective…but the
illusion is still comforting…move out of your comfort zone…think of the other…as
you walk in his shoes, you will find, the self is shifting…
IV
television will not come to the rescue, every
time…light will hurt just enough…people are getting used to suffering…distance
is being measured in chewing gums…silences are speaking up…and talking down…everyone
likes being proved right…you will invariably be proved wrong, even about yourself…fantasies
have filed for bankruptcy; their flight operations have long since ceased…khichdi – mom made – is still the best…there’ll
always be that one song you don’t want to hear when someone decides to play it
all over…when you look back, life is just that handful of stories…the ones that
stayed, and with which you will regale your grandchildren someday…there’s no
going back…forgetful time feels the need to leave its imprints…you can trace,
but never return…you will lose what kept you afloat all of your life…habit will
replace passion…words will stop vying for depth…blabber is the only
conversation you can have with some people…childish meaning is still hung up on
hide and seek…dire straits will always be a rock band for some…there are no
free lunches, but unsolicited advice is free and floating all around…loneliness
will have to be lived out…solitude better be got used to…words will fail you,
like much else…the world may be prettier in black and white…color may begin to
offend…every discovery is but a self discovery…essences may be comforting, but
long undone…no wonder then, you will find, the self shifting…but always…always
already…
